Thursday, January 22, 2009

Maybe a helmet would be a good idea?

When I was a little kid my mother never let me go sledding on Hospital Hill because she said it was too dangerous.  Too many friends of mine broke arms and legs there.  The moral of this story is, you can't do a thing about it, your mother's always right.

Hospital Hill is not actually (as I used to think) called Hospital Hill because it sends too many people to the ER, but because it backs up on the old Northampton State Hospital.  But I'm beginning to think that there's something to my original idea about how the hill got its name.

Several days ago, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, with several inches of fresh powder padding the foot of snow we already had, my father, sister, and I decided to go snowtubing.  We got to Hospital Hill only to discover that the powder had already been firmly packed down by dozens of little sledders, creating an icy almost-vertical freeway on which crampons would have been pretty useful.  After sliding halfway down the hill on our asses several times, we finally made it up the hill, and then had a couple good runs down.  On our last run, my sis and I shared the snowtube.  As we hurtled down the hill, I felt, I swear, a premonition... that this was not going to be good.  Sure enough, some kid (or, who knows, some silly adult like myself) had left a plastic sled smack in our path.  As you really can't steer a snowtube, we hit it head on.  I hit it literally head on.  As we crashed, the sled bounced up, I bounced up, the sled bounced down and I bounced down onto it.  On my head.  On my left temple, to be exact.  I lay there in the snow afterwards with the precautions from too many first aid classes running frantically through my mind.... suspected spinal injury.... don't move the victim if you suspect a spinal injury....  I gradually realized that, no, my back was not broken, and yes, I was able to speak.  Now, several days and several chiropractor visits later, and still in pain, I have two things to say: a) don't abandon your sled on the hill and b) always listen to your mother.

(Note: somehow, while I landed groaning, my sister landed giggling.  Apparently she smacked her eyebrow, though, and I guess it hurts a little bit when she makes an expression of surprise or displeasure... poor thing...)

The Story of the Five Dollar Bill

Northampton is sometimes hilariously small.

The story of the five dollar bill goes like this:

My sister, Lily, and our friends Jeff, Gaea, and Abe were eating at Joe's Pizza.  When they went to pay for their meal, Abe pulled out the famous five dollar bill.  He noticed it had something written in Spanish on it, to a guy named "Jorge," from a girl named "Evita."  So he showed it to Jeff, who teaches Spanish, so he could translate.  Lily looked on... and then started wondering if "Evita" wasn't our friend Evie, and if "Jorge" wasn't her lover in Peru about whom she's been talking nonstop for months (and to whom she's been making terribly expensive long-distance phone calls for months...).  Then Gaea looked over and realized that, yes... Evie had written the note on the $5.  Gaea knew this because a) she was there when Evie wrote it and b) Evie had payed her back for something with said $5.  Gaea had spent the $5 in Cornucopia (the local health food store)... and now it had somehow ended up in Abe's pocket, soon to end up in the till at Joe's Pizza.  It's like our own local version of www.wheresgeorge.com !

(Now I really want to start writing funny things on money that could only have been written by me so I can see where the money ends up going...  )


Sunday, January 11, 2009

Figs and Thistles

Damn.  I'm not very good at this blogging thing yet.  Secret number 5 to good blogging:  remember that you have a blog and then actually remember to write in it (does one write in a blog? on a blog?  to a blog?...).

Anyway, I realized that maybe I should also mention that I have another blog (because, you know, I'm so good at keeping up with this one...).  It contains original poetry by yours truly.  It's called "Figs and Thistles" and you'll find it at figsandthistles.blogspot.com, or you can just click on my profile and there's a link to it from there.  

(If you get the reference in the title you win a prize.  I'm not sure what, but something cool.)